I am grateful for those who took the time to read my last post and to those who wrote a response. The latter reminded me that my own similar initial reactions – shock, disbelief, a sense of disrespect and injustice, wanting to end things – were normal. But I knew, deep down, running away was not a good option, especially if it were a decision made in haste and anger, so initially I confided in people I thought would be able to give me balanced advice, who had experience of this particular sort of situation. It would have been all too easy to seek sympathy in friends and maybe family who would bolster support for a swift exit from my marriage.
Nothing changed in our relationship while he had a second wife. He was away on business regularly anyway. The second wife had agreed for the distribution of time as it was, and she was encouraging him to tell me. In a way, never knowing could have been easier. But this wouldn’t be practical, nor fair on the siblings, and the crux of the issue here – honesty – would inevitably be compromised. My husband had not wanted to keep things from me – there had never seemed to have been a right time to reveal all. I don’t believe there is ever a right time. But thereafter, he then promised to be upfront with me, and I was willing to try trusting him again.
Why I posted the story was to give a background to show where I am coming from and to give hope to anyone in a similar situation that feeling better is actually possible. Now, in this blog, I intend to look at why the whole thing of polygamy is such a big deal and how to handle the emotional turmoil that usually accompanies it.
Still, there is a bit more background to tell. So, several months later, why did I actually want him to hide something from me again? Had I gone mad? Find out in the next post.