Last week, I wrote about the Second Wife’s perspective in polygamy. Today I’m sharing some sincere advice for the men thinking of polygamy (polygyny) written by Hasan Clay, MBA, ABD and Naaila Moumaris-Clay
I think this is of course useful for any men out there to read, but also for women. It shows that polygamy is not an easy path to take if done properly. But the men that do their duties as they should deserve some credit.
POLYGYNY: All Things Considered
1. You will miss your wife while with the other wife.
2. It will feel awkward initially when establishing a home with the new wife. You may not feel so comfortable and desire to be “at home”, the other house.
3. You will miss seeing your children. This may make it harder to fairly implement time.
4. You will have to resist submitting to your wife’s emotions, and may appear insensitive, to limit manipulation.
5. Find ways to be sensitive and to do more to show love and appreciation. No matter what you do, emotionally and mentally, you will come up short. Do and be extra when you can.
6. You will never be able to control the relationship of your wives. For this reason, selection is key.
7. You will be forced to make decisions you do not want to make. These women and families are intertwined due to you. Don’t ever take a back seat on leadership.
8. You may briefly lose some of the closeness you had with your existing wife as she learns to trust your decision to take another wife. It can be regained.
9. Unless you are wealthy, you will likely encounter a financial struggle with one or both homes, unexpectedly. Even if you do not have to initially, plan to take care of each household. You may have to.
10. With the additional responsibilities, you may periodically tire of the sexual benefit of multiple wives.
11. Your children deserve an explanation for your absence in the home. You should inform them.
12. Giving one wife more benefits or time will likely give her a feeling of superiority. This will come back to haunt you.
13. When you insist upon keeping your wives separate, you create doubt and lack of trust. It allows for a man to be raggedy and you know it. Don’t do it. You look like a man with poor character.
Hasan Clay, MBA, ABD and Naaila Moumaris-Clay, MS, NCC ©2017