What is it that gets most women down when it comes to polygamy? Jealousy and injustice. These two are tightly interlinked, feeding each other; they tease or even bleed out negativity from anyone afflicted.
Injustice (on the man’s part) throws fuel on the fires of jealousy whereas the opposite, justice, will act as cooling water. If a husband spends more time with one wife than the other for no apparent reason, is it not to be expected the wife with less time will feel hurt and jealous?
And jealousy is a natural feeling for most women in polygamy, whether there is fairness or not; there is no house cleaner than when occupied by a jealous woman! Don’t be ashamed or feel bad for feeling jealous – it’s how you react that matters. Being jealous and then being unjust yourself cannot be – sorry – justified.
A woman found out her husband had married again and poured boiling water on her husband’s back. She had her moment of revenge and satisfaction, but to gain what? A ticket to hell fire perhaps.
This is not a post to say accept any injustice done to you – that would be oppression. Accept your initial feelings of jealousy and anger and betrayal or whatever is urging your fists to smack the wall, eyes to cry a thousand tears or tongue to scream profanities. Breathe. And then work out a plan of action (not involving boiling water or burying anyone under the patio!) Keep repeating to yourself Allah is the Just and he promises you Justice.
You will find a way, insha Allah, to regain peace in your heart. Right now it may look impossible and you have no obvious path to follow, but keep having tawwakul (reliance on Allah (SWT).)